Napoleon Linardatos presents a humorous take on today’s headlines.
“Cash-strapped Cuba says toilet paper running short”
-Reuters, 8.10.09
Now the socialist government of Cuba is left with the hope that food shortages will ameliorate the unavailability of toilet paper.
* * *
“President Obama distances himself from Nancy Pelosi”
-Politico, 8.10.09
Considering Mrs. Pelosi’s poll numbers, the act of distancing oneself from her has the “fierce urgency of now.”
* * *
“Should you look for work in China?”
-Forbes, 8.13.09
Recent ethnic uprisings have increased employment opportunities in the always dynamic repression sector of the economy.
* * *
“Swedish police investigate pirate mystery”
-Financial Times, 8.11.09
The ship was carrying 300 social workers. Swedish authorities fear that neighboring welfare states may be involved.
* * *
“Limbaugh: No Retraction on Nazi Comment”
-FrumForum.com, 8.10.09
A retraction here, a retraction there, and before you know it booted Libs in earth-tone brown shirts storm Czechoslovakia.
* * *
“UK health system hits back at US critics”
-New York Times, 8.12.09
We will get a response from the UK health system but not anytime soon since there is a six month long waiting list in the Comments & Criticism department.
* * *
“California to stop issuing IOUs”
-Financial Times, 8.14.09
It has become very expensive for California to issue IOUs and they are going to be replaced with a promise and a firm handshake from the governor.
* * *
“Scientist Tackles Ethical Questions of Space Travel”
-New York Times, 8.10.09
For instance, would it be morally permissible for Darth Vader to waterboard Princess Leia?
* * *
“Keynes rescues France and Germany from recession”
-The Telegraph, 8.13.09
“In the long run we are all dead” but some of us less than others.
* * *
“Slump Strains Church Finances as Need Grows”
-Wall Street Journal, 8.11.09
God’s mysterious ways have unintended consequences.
4 responses so far
1 joedee1969 // Aug 17, 2009 at 8:31 am
I blame the president
http://americaspeaksink.com/2009/08/obamacare-the-worst-sales-pitch-ever/
2 sinz54 // Aug 17, 2009 at 9:43 am
If present trends continue, the Chinese are going to have a fierce debate as to what to do with all those desperate illegal aliens coming from the United States to find low-wage jobs in China:
“Those Americans, they drink too much and they’re too violent and they’re rude and uncivilized. Send them back! Send them back!”
3 sinz54 // Aug 17, 2009 at 9:45 am
“For instance, would it be morally permissible for Darth Vader to waterboard Princess Leia?”
Darth Vader is going to be in a heap of trouble. Because Imperial Senate leader Nan Cipelos claims she was not kept informed.
4 sinz54 // Aug 17, 2009 at 9:47 am
“UK health system hits back at US critics”
I’m sure our closest ally on Earth (with the possible exception of Israel) appreciates being used as a foil by us.
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