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Governor Andrew Cuomo has seen fit to invite his girlfriend of five years, the statuesque blonde Sandra Lee, into the Governor’s mansion. Sandra Lee has a cooking show I actually like called Semi-Homemade in which she gives tips on how to entertain so it appears you made various dishes from scratch. Andrew Cuomo also seems like a sober-minded Democrat. Nonetheless, this spectacle is a good gauge of the decline of marriage particularly in the East.
Andrew Cuomo’s father is the famously Catholic and famously uxorious Mario Cuomo. Andrew married into the Kennedy family and that marriage ended in divorce. The Cuomos are from Queens. Their support began in the conservative, Democratic Catholic neighborhoods there (where my family is also from). The fact that Andrew Cuomo will suffer little from shacking up with his girlfriend in a house provided by the taxpayers of New York and suffer no political consequences underlines the decline of marriage. What does his father think about this? There is a Sicilian word made famous by The Sopranos for this type of relationship. I would be stunned if Mr. Cuomo’s mother would not use it in this instance.
One of the great social problems of the current epoch is the failure of men and women to marry. The chief executive of New York is an example to the kids he will visit in schools both public and parochial. His girlfriend is a minor celebrity. He has been seeing her for five years and has invited her into the Governor’s mansion in flagrant and notorious cohabitation (as the common law marriage cases used to say).
Now, there is plenty of law in New York for cohabitation agreements for the unmarried. Ms. Lee has amassed a home economics empire and Mr. Cuomo has children to support. I wonder if they have so formalized their relationship by a cohabitation agreement. What happens if she does not want to move out if they split? Hopefully we will not find out. The damage to social mores is undiminished should no split occur.
The Cuomos are a famously Catholic family. They use that to their political advantage at every turn. Where is the Cardinal of New York on this? We know where one of his predecessors was in similar circumstances. We know where at least one Bishop is. Can Cuomo credibly speak to the problems of single motherhood while he shacks up with a woman not his wife in the Governor’s mansion?
The Mayors of New York have always had more leeway in this regard. But even Jimmy Walker, “Beu James,” the playboy Mayor of New York eventually married his girlfriend. The same is true of Rudy Giuliani whose soap opera existence in the Mayor’s office soured many conservatives. The Governor of New York’s public behavior unchastized by public opinion, his Bishop or his conscience is a harbinger of how much society cares about marriage.
As Peter Worthington notes, a joking simulation of masturbation and homosexuality in an entertainment video in the Navy five years ago is enough to remove a Captain with a spotless record from command on an aircraft carrier. Flagrant and notorious cohabitation without benefit of marriage in the Governor’s mansion of New York is unremarked. The party of conservatism is always going to have a difficult time negotiating such a world.
My impressions is that Catholics, especially Italians are masters of hypocrisy and cant. They love to talk all that godly prudish pap some nuns and priests knocked into their heads when they were young while doing the exact opposite. Palldino, his feckless Buffalo based opponent of 2010, comes to mind. He talked all sorts of good Catholic stuff then sent pornographic emails & sired love children.
And as far as the whine about the what happened to our poor Captain, well, conservatives mainly run the armed forces. So blame that on a conservative, cause in either case, I don’t care.
I’ve been married for 29 years, how ’bout you Mr. Conservative? Vecchione neglects to mention his own marital status and yet in fine conservative fashion laments and scolds a world evolving not to conservatives liking. If you want to marry, go ahead, if your relationship is strong without it who cares? Pope, Pastor and Vecchione be damned.
jjv:
I’m honored. And you are wholly wrong, about me at least. I’ve been married for 23 years. My lifestyle and child rearing philosophy has been one that all Conservatives say is a best practice but few actually do- stable marriage (only one, kiddo), stay-at-home mother for 15 years, work at home for the last few. Raised my son with anything BUT the attitude that “everybody is doing it, ergo it’s all good”.
As far as my point goes: You (and I) may bemoan the state of marriage within the heterosexual community, but it is what it is. That the majority of adults don’t bat an eye at a cohabitor in the State House reflects the majority behavior (not public stance) of the adult population. But very few people would bring or condone the type of “humor” into the workplace brough to us by Captain Honors. Can’t we agree on that?
Yes, the Navy tends to be a ribald unit. No, I’ve never served on a ship. But definitely: This man is a leader and an employee of the Federal government. And you may be right. His career may yet be ressurected, and perhaps rightfully so. But he caused nine kinds of public relations nightmares for his superiors, the shape and sort that demands public rebuke. Period.
Honors’ did this to himself. Like it or not, John, we expect and demand more of our military leaders who are charged with sensitive missions and information. This is the age of technology, where any 3G cell phone can broadcast anything to the entire world. If this guy can’t even keep secret what goes on in his own circle, then is it any wonder that his superiors might be questioning his judgement with the sometimes top secret information and missions with which he’s charged? Best to stay focused on what Honors is actually charged with: National security, not court jester.
Well said practical girl. There is no comparison between the two.
Furthermore, much of America looks at marriage as the relationship between two adults, not the piece of paper that one obtains from the government. It holds no more promise of stability than the vows two people make to one another. If someone believes the piece of paper is holding people together they are horribly deluded.
Practicalgirl,
Well written, as always.
Midcon,
Great point…
Midcon Said
“Oh they were clear about marriage laws? Care to share with us all where in the Constitution it discusses state and/or local regulation of marriage?
The problem with people like you is that Limited Government is defined in whatever manner you decide it should be. You actually love government regulation as long as it is regulating those things that float your boat. Limited Government my ass. You are worst than the socialists because at least they do not spew a small government argument while trying to get the same government to control whatever it is they want to control.”
@MIDCON
PERHAPS if you read a book or two you would know that the founding fathers wrote much more than the constitution which simply enumerates the limits of the powers of the Federal Government and nothing more. The phrase Limited Government itself does not appear in the constituton so should I then conclude that the constitution did not push limited Goverenment in principle? Apparently you have never heard of the tenth amendment that grants the authority to states to pass laws concerning social matters, using local standards, without federal interference?
The rest of the rubbIsh you have written is really not worth responding to . As I said at the onset you clearly dont know what limited government means otherwise you wouldnt be conflating simple social commentary about the appropriate behavior of a Governor intyo a constitutional debate .
The wall of seperation between church and state applies ONLY to CONGRESS
not to the the voter or to commentators HENCE VOTERS should vote according to what THEY deem moral.So what is wrong with a commentator asking questions about Mr Cuomo Shacking Up in the State House with his Girlfriend and the possible effect on the Institution of Marriage . If you half understood limited Govt you would understand this.
Let me leave you with a few quotes from John Adams our second president. Hopefully it will help clear your head as to why some may be concerend about this matter.
“We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge, or gallantry, would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution was made only for a religious and moral people. It is wholly inadequate for the government of any other. ”
“Statesmen, my dear Sir, may plan and speculate for Liberty, but it is Religion and Morality alone, which can establish the Principles upon which Freedom can securely stand. The only foundation of a free Constitution is pure Virtue, and if this cannot be inspired into our People in a greater Measure than they have it now, They may change their Rulers and the forms of Government, but they will not obtain a lasting Liberty. They will only exchange Tyrants and Tyrannies. ”
–John Adams
All the moral and political posturing aside, Mr. Vecchione makes a good point. If nothing else, stable marriage are better for our kids. It is almost a cliche these days concerning messed up neglected kids coming from broken or almost non existent families. Trashing the Cleavers and Ozzie and Harriet lost it’s point decades ago as our newer alternatives seems a lot bleaker. And if you don’t believe that the weakened institution of marriage is the main culprit, then you have your head in the sand. Until we come up with a better way to raise and nurture our youth, then let’s stop trashing marriage.
John
I’m puzzled. I can’t figure out if your piece on the “famously Catholic Cuomos” (A good name for a punk band, no?), is worthy of contempt or not worthy of contempt, if you get my drift.
Jesus said, “Let him without sin cast the first stone.” Didn’t you ever beat off as a child? Or like Portnoy wrap your putz in a piece of liver and shoot your wad onto the ceiling?
Is cohabitation between unmarried partners prohibited in the Bible?
Masturbation is. And 99% of normal men have masturbated. So either you didn’t want to admit that you did in your hit piece (the honest thing to do) or you’re not normal.
And you’ve never banged anyone, man or woman, but the Mrs?
You are a tower of unhypocritical virtue.
Except I don’t believe a word of it.. Do honesty and virtue a favor: STFU.
jakester: I agree with you that marriage is the stability that children need emotionally. Alas…too many people give up on marriage too easily and too many stay in bad marriages. I was one of the unfortunate ones that divorced with three children, and being a single mom for many years was extremely difficult, both emotionally and financially. My kids still hurt from that instability, although they are now young adults themselves and understand a lot more.
I got married again, and I have a good marriage and a wonderful husband. Yet, I would hope that this country never gives up on marriage – it is not a substitute for living together. That ‘little piece of paper’ should mean something, other than ‘since I don’t have one, I can leave you as soon as someone better comes along…’
This is precisely why our kids are screwed up. They don’t have adults taking responsibility seriously. Most adults I see and hear nowawdays sound like overgrown adolescents. (Case in point, Captain Honors!)
But on the other hand, too many women end up in abusive relationships with terrible men, getting beaten physically, dragged emotionally into the ground. Not only do they ruin their own lives, they teach their kids to lack respect for themselves.
There is a lot wrong in our country now with mores and morals. I am not a preacher, or holier than thou. I would suspect that there is a lot more wrong in Republicans trying their damnedest to destroy the fragile healthcare revision by Obama that will hurt millions of children in this country, than whether or not two people co-habitate with each other.
Promiscuity and adultery are far more serious problems……leading to destroyed marriages, destroyed families, sexual diseases, etc…
btw, jakester: I do not like your attack against Italians. There are millions of Italians (like myself) who found Palladino a yokel with a bad mouth and even worst attitude. A total ignoramus.
I agree he was a hypocrite. If you want to bash Catholics, by all means go ahead, but include righteous Christians as well. It is unfair to characterize one ethnic group, based on a couple of idiots…! There are plenty of Italians in our society who have contributed mightily and well, and there is no need for ethnic bashing.
Thanks…