Meet the Man Looking for bin Laden’s Body

July 16th, 2011 at 12:00 am | 20 Comments |

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Treasure hunter Bill Warren wants to launch an expedition at sea to find Osama bin Laden’s body.

“Yeah, he was a bad man, but I have a compassionate heart,” says the author of Shipwrecks and Discoveries. “It might have been better if we had cremated him and given the ashes to the Arabs.

However, in Islam it is “haram” – meaning, forbidden by religious law, to burn anything endowed with a “soul” – so doing so may have unnecessarily enraged practicing Muslims.

Warren said he has received an e-mail from the bin Laden family wishing him luck on the trip and that they are interested in giving the body a proper ground burial if he retrieves it.

Warren’s compassion for the terrorist leader’s family may also be fueled by hopes for a profitable documentary based on his search. And if you want to join the search as a tourist, you can – for $5,000 per person, meals included. Yet even beyond the documentary and the tour business, Warren has an even larger ambition expedition, one  many might consider explosive: Warren expresses some doubt that it truly was Osama bin Laden who was killed on April 29 by U.S. Navy Seals. If Warren, a Christian conservative, discovers that bin Laden’s was not the body that was thrown into the sea, he hopes that Obama would be removed from office immediately.

“People in the military tell me that bin Laden is not the man in the body bag in the bottom of the sea,” Warren told FrumForum. “One story is that they shot and killed another man and pretended it was him and put him into the sea.”

He has also heard another version of bin Laden’s death, which says the former al Qaeda leader was not shot immediately:

“He was dragged down the three flights of stairs of the compound he was living in,” Warren said. “He was tied up and put on the ground, and the head Navy Seal guy was talking to our president, asking him what to do, and supposedly the president told him to just bring him back and not kill him – and the Seal killed him anyway.”

Whatever precisely happened in Abbotabad, Warren’s view of President Obama is scathing: “Our President says ‘America is not a Christian nation – we are a nation of different beliefs’. We were founded on Christianity here and the principles in the bible,” Warren said. “And we’ve got this liberal in Washington who thinks like the Muslims and caters to the Muslims – and I don’t believe he really killed bin Laden.”

Warren, also a professional singer and owner of a diving company, claims he has had much success in discovering lost items in the ocean – including a pirate’s bone from an old British ship that he found in the Bahamas.

“I stumbled across a pirate ship and buried in the sand was one bone – which I have right here – I guess it’s the arm bone, the femur or something,” he said. Additionally, he has found cannons, coins and diamonds – his most valuable discovery being the wreck of one of the richest ships to ever have sunk, located in Mauritius, Africa.

He said he found 17 iron chests filled with diamonds – but he couldn’t lift them because they were so heavy.

“I also made the government the promise that I wouldn’t [take them] until they gave me the license,” he said. “But even after going halfway around the world to find the wreck, they never gave me the license.”

Warren plans to depart using a borrowed ship – which costs $10,000 per day – from the Northwestern Indian coast. He will take retired Navy Seals on his journey for protection. He warned that he will be properly equipped to fight al Qaeda, in the case that they attack.

“The number one risk is my own government sending the military out to kill or arrest us,” he said, apparently fully seriously believing they will come after him. “Two would be al Qaeda coming out in boats and shooting at us.”

Warren’s search will be conducted in international waters. He does not plan to set foot in Pakistan, due to safety concerns.

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20 Comments so far ↓

  • balconesfault

    This story has the value of the average penile enlargement ad.

  • Kevin B

    Wouldn’t it be cool if he went out looking for OBL, and accidentally found Noah’s Ark, with all the animals still inside?

    • TerryF98

      Yea, and it would be cool if it was lodged in a treasure filled part of the lost city of Atlantis.

  • Raskolnik

    See, what people don’t understand is, you don’t come to FrumForum for the political commentary. You come for the comedy. Thanks Ms. Glass!

  • sinz54

    I’m appalled that FrumForum would give such publicity (the lead story today) to a conspiracy theorist.

    And as for his “compassionate heart” where bin Laden is concerned, I would like to remind him of an old Talmudic adage:

    “Kindness to the cruel is cruelty to the kind.”

    • TerryF98

      Yes Sinz.

      Almost like your “compassionate heart” when you stated we should kill every man, woman, child and dog in Pakistan.

      Have a nice day genocidal maniac.

    • Primrose

      I agree with Sinz54 (which won’t I hope shock him too much). They shouldn’t give publicity to this man. He promotes conspiracy theories. But most of all he promotes himself, without a care of the people he will hurt.

      And I did think Mr. Frum was against the kind of people who claim Obama is some kind of Muslim? Gotta love the circular logic, Bin Laden can’t be dead because Obama is too pro-Muslim to kill a Muslim.

      If you wanted to talk about him at all, there needed to be actual analysis of his actions. This is just a publicist’s puff piece.

  • jnail

    Why waste the ink on this clown? Who cares?

  • Graychin

    Apparently Warren is more than garden-variety nutjob. He’s a nutjob with MONEY.

    Thanks to the always-informative Frum Forum for the enlightening insight into this fascinating man. I look forward to more stories about UFOs and the like.

  • mc419

    I presume that when he does not resurface with Bin Laden’s body his conclusion will be that there was no body down there to discover? This would mean that we will soon see him on cable news expressing “concern” and “questions” about autheticity of the execution and burial?

  • ScoopAway

    He’s just another cut in the mold of Sarah Palin and Newt Gingrich who like to puff up their chests and strut around on the fringes of importance in order to fluff up their own coffers.

  • lolapowers

    I agree with Sinz54..crappy story.. I smell money

  • lolapowers

    ScoopAway-give it to them,dumbasses!

  • valkayec

    He’ll probably make a ton of money especially from conspiracy theorists, Christian fundamentalists, Muslim and Obama haters, and a few cable networks who will broadcast his search. However, his chances of finding any body are less than nil. What was it PT Barnum said? Never give a sucker an even chance? Or something like that.

    Like Lincoln’s maxim: You can fool some of the people all the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t fool all the people all of the time. Right now, we have too many people who fit into the first two categories.

  • ktward

    Hell, even the GOS bans CT tripe.

    You know, I’m innately inclined to (mostly) just ignore the predictable blather of Linnane and Worthington and the various vacuous weekend contributors that have popped up. But all along I honestly assumed that, beneath the inexplicable loyalties that Frum evidently felt with some of his worst contributors [cough: Vecchione], FF really did have a meaningful set of journo/commentariat standards by which it was guided.

    I was wrong.

  • NRA Liberal

    This douche is like everything wrong with America’s right wing in one annoying, conspiracy-theorizing, huckster tourist trapping, Christian bigot package.

  • Raskolnik

    Maybe I’m being too generous, but I think this article was intended as satire. I mean obviously the man takes himself seriously, but just look at the article.

    He said he found 17 iron chests filled with diamonds – but he couldn’t lift them because they were so heavy.

    “The number one risk is my own government sending the military out to kill or arrest us,” he said, apparently fully seriously believing they will come after him.

    Clearly the author knows this idiot is several nuts short of a fruitcake, one can only assume that Frum does as well. This is just more lunacy on display from the Religious Reich.

  • sublime33

    Umm, if he finds a body, how on earth would a rational person know that this is the particular body the Navy Seals disposed of that was supposedly bin Laden? As someone recently noted, to be a member in good standing in the right wing, you must suspend rational thought and replace it with blind loyalty.

  • Steve D

    Okay, it wasn’t really Osama, but then it was and a Seal murdered him after being told not to. Where are the Somali pirates when we really need them? I mean, a guy who’s found that much treasure ought to be worth a hefty ransom.

    Seriously though, if the Navy doesn’t have some way to recover the body if they have to, somebody didn’t plan ahead. Recording the ship’s location to meter accuracy would probably have sufficed. (I don’t understand it – we were right on top of that wave….)