Help Me! My Spouse is Too Hot

September 24th, 2010 at 5:18 pm | 1 Comment |

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Writing in the Globe and Mail, David Eddie hears from a reader who’s resentful that her husband is better looking than she.  She writes:

My husband and I are the same age. He is a very, very handsome man who is fit and looks quite young for his age. He could easily be a model or work in television. If he were more attention-seeking or had a more outgoing personality, he’d probably have women falling all over him. I myself am a fairly average looking woman. I look my age, and like the mother of three that I am. Usually it just breaks my heart to be seen with him.

The problem is, my husband is not a flatterer by nature and has no interest in helping me feel better about this issue other than to tell me I’m nuts. He can be quite vain about his appearance – not as bad as he could be, but it’s there. When we go out he carries himself like he knows he looks good. I find this to be increasingly unattractive. My natural inclination is to tell him how handsome he is, but more and more I am withholding compliments because I’m not getting much meaningful praise in return.

Perhaps the damage I am trying to control could best be described in this way: I am damaging my marriage by resenting my husband for being better looking than me.

Click here to read Eddie’s advice.

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One Comment so far ↓

  • sinz54

    The problem is, my husband is not a flatterer by nature and has no interest in helping me feel better about this issue other than to tell me I’m nuts. He can be quite vain about his appearance – not as bad as he could be, but it’s there. When we go out he carries himself like he knows he looks good. I find this to be increasingly unattractive.
    She should see a therapist.

    Because he’s right and she’s wrong.

    If he looks good, he is right to be proud of that. I’ll bet he keeps himself looking good by watching his weight and exercising. And he’s right to be proud of that too.

    Whereas his wife is ashamed of how she looks, and is jealous that anyone could look better than her and be proud of looking that way. It never occurs to her that there must be SOMETHING attractive about her, if a man that handsome could fall in love with her and remain happily married to her after having had three kids together.

    Besides a therapist, maybe his wife could put a little more effort into looking better too. Maybe she could get an Extreme Makeover. At least, maybe she could start a regular exercise program to get back in shape (hinted by her saying she looks like she had the three children).