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In the Huffington Post, Sun TV producer Miranda Frum questions Canada’s image as America’s “polite hat”:
Yes, Canadians are famously polite. But as I have found as an American living in Canada, this may just be a very convenient stereotype. Politeness does not automatically mean you are also kinder, or more generous, or a generally better person than another.
…
Recently, I was on a flight departing from Washington D.C. to Toronto. Sitting behind me were two businessmen; from their conversation I gathered that one was American and the other was Canadian. The Canadian asked the American if he had been to Canada before. The American replied that he had not yet had the pleasure of visiting Canada, however, he was very excited to visit Toronto as his Canadian business partners had been so polite and wonderful. The Canadian businessman laughed (in my opinion, rather nastily) and informed the American to “be careful” as Canadians saw Americans as “extremely rude.” The American took this insulting generalization good-naturedly, and even chuckled.
But to me this exchange struck me as a perfect example of Canadian rudeness. It is the very opposite of politeness to keep pointing out to others how polite you are and how inferior are their manners.
“But to me this exchange struck me as a perfect example of Canadian rudeness. It is the very opposite of politeness to keep pointing out to others how polite you are and how inferior are their manners”
For the record, as a Canadian who now lives in the United States, let me state the following:
I actually consider Americans to be very polite people in general. This is also exhibited in the service industry that has an outstanding reputation of politeness. From that standpoint, I actually don’t consider Canada more ‘polite’ than the USA. I would actually place them on par with one-another.
The primary difference between the two countries is more attributed to the fact that the USA is fueled by horrible paranoia. It manifests itself in the politics of the nation and their culture in general. Everything is treated as a crisis or a ‘war’ on something. Canadians are far more laid back and mellow and in my experience, are less likely to panic. Coupled with the fact that things like universal health coverage and low rates of violence creates an atmosphere where people feel less day-to-day stresses.
Canada is by no means perfect. But I definately do not see the visceral name calling and downright caustic dialog that I see manifest here. So I would say that Canadians don’t necessarily think Americans are ‘ruder’. I think they just scratch their heads and wonder why certain things create such a response in the USA. Americans definately are more passionate about specific ideologies and views on life. Part in parcel with their culture.
To be totally fair, I think a lot of what Canadians see is also fueled by the tabloid media that exists here. And I don’t just mean Fox News. The constant need for ratings between the main 24hr news stations fosters a situation where they have to create a big deal out of minutiae. And it sends a poor message about the USA in general, which is not necessarily based in complete reality.
Categorizing an entire nation based on one overheard conversation between two strangers?
Right….
Anyway, Canadians have no reason to consider Americans to be rude.
Do they?
Based on a lot of French Canadian types around here, 2nd & 3rd generation US born ones, they seem pretty rude AND totally unfriendly. Then again, native Quebecois are usually well behaved and friendly when visiting here.
Canadians should realize that their country sits on top of America. Therefore, they should consider themselves America’s “hat”.
Next.
Careful there. By your logic, America is Canada’s bottom.
Actually, America is Canada’s gay love slave. After all, we’ve spent the last 200 years with our fat Niagara Peninsula thrust deeply into their Michigan, while their flaccid Florida just dangles in the Gulf.
Had to snicker at that one.
brASS hat
“Canadians should realize that their country sits on top of America. Therefore, they should consider themselves America’s “hat”.
Careful there. By your logic, America is Canada’s bottom”
Well, maybe not all of America. If Canada is the ‘hat’, that would make New York the ‘brains’, the midwest the ‘midsection’ and the south the ‘asshole’.
Come to think of it, Smarg may have something there……
Why are we leaving out Mexico?
Could not resist:
A George Fox joke:
The Lord is almost done creating the world and he gets to Canada.” I’m going to make the the most beautiful place,with the grandest mountains,the most spectacular wildlife,the most fertile farmland,the Grand Banks, the largest supply of freshwater,the largest supply of oil, with gold mines,silver, everything spectacular in one country.” The archangel Micheal asks if it is wise to give so much to Canadians? The Lords says”Wait til you see who I give them for neighbours”.
Yes, they certainly would’ve been better if they had Russia, Germany or Pakistan as neighbors!
Why is it rude to state a fact. The vast majority of American businessmen I have ever met (much less worked with/for) have been incredibly rude, and that’s by American standards, not Canadian standards of behavior.
true too
The only Canadians I know really well are my wife and her family, and they are indeed polite, in a sort of Anglic, UK way which disguises the snark under a layer of chilly twee reserve.
She thinks of me, and Americans in general, as boisterous, overhasty, hot headed and hypercompetitive.
In the film business, I interact with a large number of “high-status” Americans (high income, educated, connected, but still working people) working in Canada. I also travel extensively in the US, staying in a fleabag one week, a Hyatt the next; of course, I run across all types.
When I compare the two socially, I find a certain paradox that always bemuses me. It seems to me that Americans are frequently more rude, but at the same time, much more friendly. Canadians are almost always more polite, but definitely cooler and less emotionally open to strangers. I think it has to do with two things:
Canada has been more influenced by the ideal of the “Victorian gentleman”, polite but aloof. After all, our leaders were raised as “English gentlemen” for more than half our history, and our nation was given birth in the reign of Victoria, which became a “birthmark”, if you will.
America was never exposed to the concept. It broke away when “English gentleman” was still code for “overprivileged, supercilious, drunken twit”.
Secondly, our nation was not born through revolt. We merely said “Mother, I think its time we made our own way in the world.” The response was “Yes, son, I agree. Good luck; remember to write”.
Because we simply took an existing social structure and merely altered it in small ways, Canada has remained a more structured and tightly organized society; consequently, Canadians tend to have more respect for social structure and organization. Maintaining structure and organization requires co-operation; co-operation requires politeness. Revealing strong emotion is often counterproductive to achieving general agreement.
However, when a revolution happens, and the existing social structure is torn down and rebuilt from ashes, rudeness is mandatory. Armed conflict is the opposite of politeness. Passions must run high, if the revolt is to succeed. At the same time, if one puts one’s life of the man beside you, and he in yours, you must become friends. Detachment and dispassion means incomplete trust in the trench.
I think that, our national histories have given our two nations a fundamental difference in political outlook. Translated to the present, that has resulted in different social characteristics. Canadians are more aware of their social “responsibilities”, and politeness is useful in order to service them. Americans are more aware of their social “rights”, and are quicker become aggressive, or rude, in order to repel perceived threats to those “rights”.
Semi-related anecdote-
When I was studying abroad in Australia, I was almost always asked if I was Canadian. At a pathetic attempt at flirting with a cute checkout girl, I asked why she and everyone else in OZ seemed to think I was Canadian. Her response:
“I didn’t. It’s just that if you ask an American if they are Canadian, they just laugh it off; but if you ask a Canadian if they are American, they don’t take that very well.’
Actually, I think America should annex British Columbia, rape the natural resources, and then use the northern part for our nuclear waste dump. What could Canada do about it??
Infiltrate and perform ghastly acts on your person as you sleep. You’ll never be able to spot us.
“But to me this exchange struck me as a perfect example of Canadian rudeness. It is the very opposite of politeness to keep pointing out to others how polite you are and how inferior are their manners.” Of course in this case you are correct but ……
Considering your comments in a larger context, as Peter Worthington in FrumForum has correctly witten, “Political foes are not necessarily personal enemies – at least in democracies that’s the case, and especially in Canadian politics. It’s one of the comforting realities of Canada.” And you’re worried about comments “overheard” (as in eavesdropping) in an individual conversation; please! To begin with, I’m not sure how polite it is to publically comment on personal conversations but remember, the flight WAS to Toronto.
Words are cheap, observe behavior. From my perspective I recognize culturally driven differences in personal mannerisms between citizens of the two countries (as I do between the East and West Coasts of Canada) but see few differences in terms of individual hopes, dreams and intents. I been made to feel as much at home in NYC and as I do in my hometown of Calgary. Maybe as long standing neighbors we need to focus more on the multitude of blessings we share, and continue to learn from each other. In terms of personal relationships there certainly are larger issues to consider.
There is a place for citizens of either country to reach across borders and contribute, right Family Frum? Keep up the good work, the world needs thoughtful discussion.