Stories by Galatea

Galatea is a writer living in Washington DC.

Welcome to the DC Party Scene

December 23rd, 2011 at 12:00 am 8 Comments

The more I talk to my friends across the country, click the more I realize that I’m in a very unique position in terms of my unemployment—namely, that being jobless in DC is very different than it is elsewhere in the country.

“So wait,” my hometown friend Elizabeth coughed over a plate of hash browns and omelettes, after I told her how I spent my time. “A famous pundit is asking you to write about your experience? And thousands of people read your column?” Her eyes grew wide. “How the hell do you know David Frum?”

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Three Bankers: Brian

December 14th, 2011 at 1:07 pm 26 Comments

Read Part 1 in the ‘Three Bankers’ miniseries here. Read Part 2 here.

Banker 3: Brian

Brian grew up in a rural state with the cards stacked against him—middle-class, scrappy and short, he overachieved his way into being the top finance student in my class. He taught me how a collateralized debt obligation worked in September of 2008, when no one else had a flipping clue as to why Lehman Brothers was collapsing, using stick figures and diagrams.

(“So wait, the credit rating agencies did what to bad debt?” I shrieked, outraged.)

(“Yep,” he sighed, and handed me a fresh gin and tonic.)

Miraculously he got a job at a major bank. (more…)

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Three Bankers: Allen

December 14th, 2011 at 12:00 am 12 Comments

Read Part 1 in the ‘Three Bankers’ miniseries here.

Banker 2: Allen

Allen eventually made his way onto Wall Street, working for a midsize firm but pulling in a massive, six-figure salary. I always remembered Allen being a very sweet, if awkward and neurotic guy, prone to throwing money around. The most egregious display came when he took me to Vegas along with a group of other students, paid for drinks and bottle service (we went through three bottles of Grey Goose), and then spent the entire night sweet-talking the sister of a rising tech star. Not as a Sex Trophy. For business. I’m serious.

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Three Bankers: Luke

December 13th, 2011 at 2:36 am 31 Comments

Banker 1: Luke

Luke was insane. Like, sickness absolutely, see certifiably whackadoo.

There was the clinical mental illness part—talking with his therapist on the phone at all hours, sale receiving pills in the mail, and shuffling his hulking mass along the hallways of campus as he muttered about The Strokes. I have no idea whether this contributed to his insanity when he was lucid, but when he was, he ended up being…shall we say…arrogant?

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Can My Generation Make More Zuckerbergs?

December 8th, 2011 at 12:28 pm 49 Comments

Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.

This weekend I ran into a friend from high school with unmitigated amounts of professional success. He was president of the student government, remedy studied at an elite liberal arts college, and now flew all over the world as part of a glamorous job working for an NGO.

“So what do you do?” Sam asked.

“Uhhhh I’m…between jobs…and uhh working on some, uh, projects….and uh so have you talked to anyone from high school?”

We ended up on the subject of what everyone else was doing. Somehow we began talking about the brightest kids we knew, the ones who ended up at Princeton and Harvard and Yale. And then Sam exploded.

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I Heart Romneycare

December 2nd, 2011 at 12:00 pm 38 Comments

‘Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.
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Were you aware that there is at least one (1) conservative-ish person who is a fan of Romneycare? Hint: it’s me.

I know! My mom is a resident of Massachusetts and gets all your free health care money! Awesome, click right?

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Jobless, With Dwindling Options

November 29th, 2011 at 12:00 pm 39 Comments

‘Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.

When I first lost my job, one of my old writing professors—a reclusive Famous Person who didn’t particularly like people—got in touch with me. Or rather, I got in touch with him by sending a numb email, which ended with something along the lines of “I don’t know what to do next. Just tell me something to make it better.”

In the interests of maintaining his privacy I won’t reprint the email verbatim, but here’s a condensed version of his story.

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The Doomed Generation

November 23rd, 2011 at 12:00 pm 90 Comments

‘Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.

Friendsgiving—the meal shared with friends days before everyone leaves for Thanksgiving at home—is something exclusive to our generation, unhealthy I think, as Kelly ushers me into her fourth floor walkup.

“Omigod it’s good to see you!” she chirps, whisking away my giant Tupperware container of roasted broccoli. On the couch, Carolyn and Joey and Lilly are making Thanksgiving Vision Boards with handprint turkeys made of construction paper and images from piles of People magazines, and wishes for the upcoming year.

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Fat and Unemployed is No Way to Live

November 19th, 2011 at 12:45 am 35 Comments

‘Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.

It took me a few weeks to stop spending all my free time lying face down in my bed after I sent out my resumes, hospital thinking about how much my life sucked now that I didn’t have a job. The pizza boxes and sodas clustered around my bed like tiny mountains, illness and occasionally I’d roll over onto my back and onto a pile of laundry that I was too unmotivated to fold.

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Flirting for Food

November 13th, 2011 at 1:11 am 25 Comments

‘Galatea’ is a columnist writing about her experience looking for work after her recent downsizing. Previous entries in her series can be read here.

Every Sunday, I go shopping at the farmer’s market. By ‘shopping’ I mean “eating free samples of fruit and cheese until I’m full,” and “flirting with farmhands to get free vegetables.”

Honestly, I started my farmer’s market freeloading with the sampling. At most stands I can’t even justify it as “Oh, I’m just sampling it before I buy it,” even as I cram my face full of honeycrisp apple slices while pretending to look discerning about a possible investment in a bushel.

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